You are excited and a little apprehensive that you signed up for Speed Dating.
I completely understand because that is the way I felt when I signed up for Speed Dating six years ago when I was dating.
Will this be weird? What kind of people will be there? How will I come across? Will someone like me?
And what I realized, yes I have all these questions going through my head and they are really just my fears coming up. So, you notice your fears (those little thoughts in your head) and say “I hear you” and I am going to do what is really best for me and what I am committed to. I am committed to being in a great relationship and it is possible for me to meet that lifetime of love at speed dating or any other way of meeting people to have that lifetime love.
One of my steps of my Forever Love Formula is to have a plan and work the plan to meet people and get dates. You have to get out there! You are not going to meet that person sitting at home watching reruns of your favorite TV show. It is like just finding a job. Yes, I just said that. Dating is like finding a job. To be successful in finding a great job, you would look for jobs on the online sites, you would ask your friends if they know of any job openings, you would go to job opening events, or you would look in the paper. You would do everything you could do to find a job, even if you did not feel like it. And my friend, it is the same thing in finding love. You do everything in your power to make it happen. That is what I did, and I now have an amazing man and getting married this year. And that is what my clients do. They have a plan of getting out there, they meet people, they go on dates, and voila, they are now in exclusive relationships and even getting married. So it is worth it!!!
So we all have our fears and look at the big picture of what you are committed to – having an amazing person to love. The one that will be there for you to give you a big hug, or celebrate your job promotion, or just hang out on the couch together and snuggle at night. Focus on that.
Now the next step from my Forever Love Formula is how to stand out from the crowd and be in the top 10% of the dating pool.
- Dress to Impress: With Speed Dating first impressions are so important. Ladies – show a little skin but don’t go overboard, you want to be sexy and sophisticated. Men – be sporty and stylish.
- Get there early: We know the saying: “The early bird gets the worm”. It is opportunity to talk with the host and other participants that got there early also. Also, stay afterwards and mingle. You might be able to get a date that night. Wouldn’t that be fun?
- Speaking of fun: Be light, playful, and have fun. Don’t take it so seriously. Make jokes (appropriate ones) and laugh at the other person’s jokes. This is about just getting to know other people and yourself for that matter. And you already successful for getting out there. Don’t be attached to any result. It is a process.
- Smile and make eye contact: Studies have found that a “mutual unbroken gaze for two minutes with a stranger” leads to “increased feelings of passionate love.” So gaze into their eyes, smile.
- Be Present and Listen: This is the most attractive quality to have. Don’t be thinking of what you need to do at work, or if does this person like me or why is she/he wearing that shirt?. This is a little Buddhist here, but watch your chatter in your head and be present with someone. Don’t interrupt. Biggest turnoff. Really listen like that is the most important person in the room. Don’t be looking at your phone or around the room. And you also want to listen for what does this person like and what are their values. You really want to listen for yourself to determine if you are interested in dating them.
- Have manners, be very polite and charming: Thank them for time with you at the end of the speed date. Authentically compliment them on something they are wearing or a feature you like, smile or hair, or compliment them on something that impressed you on what they stated.
- Communication: Don’t ask the typical: What do you do for fun or work? Be creative: If you won a million dollars, what would be the top 3 things you would do? What is on your bucket list? What is the weirdest Halloween costume you ever wore? Or what is your dream job or vacation? What is your favorite vacation? When people answer these questions, ask another question that piggybacks on that one and how you can relate to that.
Now, a lot of these tips can be used in other types of dating events and situations. And you can have that special one in your life. If you are feeling that you could use some more support in your quest for love, please contact me for a complimentary consult by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
BTW: Ladies (sorry men, just for ladies only) be able to ask me a question 24/7 by joining my Successful in Love Lounge – my private Facebook for women members supporting in dating and relationships.